L.C.'s Thoughts for
the New Year
First
of all, as of today, I will no longer be writing metaphysical newsletters
unless I see a big change in support for my work. I have been writing these
articles for over ten years, beginning with an electric typewriter and a home
Xerox machine, making copies to give out, mail out, then later, email, and now
post on my website. With the hundreds of people on my mailing list, only a
very, very small handful of people have given donations in support of my work,
with one person going way above and beyond the call of duty in her generosity.
If that is all of you who are interested in my work, then it is not enough for
me to continue doing this (and my apologies to those who do support me). I
don't need to publish this material. I already know this stuff, and I publish
it in the hopes that others will benefit. I am tired of working without pay.
For those of you who logon to Solara's site www.nvisible.com, you are familiar with her
monthly "Surf Reports", and lately she has been talking about rowing
your boat with all you've got to get to the other side. About a month ago, I
was listening to some archives on the World Puja Network, and I listened to
part of her interview (December, 2006). She told the story of the end times of
Atlantis, when its citizens loaded into boats to escape. She said that few
actually made it to the shore to safety, because most just gave up, and that
many of us today have cellular memories of that tragic event. She has been
warning us for the last couple months to keep rowing, and not look back to help
those who have capsized. We can no longer save them. It is time to let go. You
are either in or your out. Everything is done, it is now a matter of waiting for the physical events
to fully manifest. I have found lately that I no longer even have an interest
in most of the other websites I have been reading for years. And many of us
have reached our zero point or still point, which I will elaborate on at the
end of this article.
If I could have one wish granted for the
world for the new year, it would not be for world
peace or an end to global warming or prosperity for all, it would be for
JUSTICE, and that alone would cover all of our needs. Justice is the one thing
that seems to be slipping away most rapidly. All I see any more are the
"bad guys"
getting richer and
more powerful, and the "good guys" getting screwed, lied to, used,
abused, and slipping deeper into poverty and slavery, literal or symbolic.
2007, in numerological terms, was a 9 year,
a year of completion and endings. It was the year from hell for many of us.
2008 is a 1 year, the number of rebirth, new beginnings, and desperately needed
fresh energy. I need something, lots
and lots of things, to open up for me if I am to survive.
If I could give one word of advice to
everyone on the planet, it would be to assume that everything you ever believed
is complete and utter bullshit, then begin to scrutinize your belief system every
day and throw out everything that doesn't fit. The reason we are taking so
painfully long to get to the next level, I mean really get there, is because 90% of the world's population is still
operating under an archaic belief system, whether it is about social,
political, religious, economic or personal beliefs, in most cases they are
beliefs that have been passed down from generation to generation and rarely
questioned, often because daring to question them would be too frightening or
challenging.
And that includes "New Age"
beliefs and jargon. Here are some in particular that make me cringe every time
I hear them or see them written: Everything happens for a reason--there are no
accidents; Everything is in Divine and Perfect Order;
We are all One.
Let me expand on them one at a time:
1) Everything happens for a reason—there are
no accidents.
Of course there are accidents. In Native
beliefs, souls that have never crossed over are often the victims of an
unexpected and/or violent death. When it is the time we have chosen to depart,
our soul begins to make preparations. We know, at an unconscious and often
conscious level that we will be leaving our bodies soon. But sometimes we are
in the wrong place at the wrong time, and an accident or act of violence forces
us to leave our body before we have finished our business. And random acts
aren't limited to death. I think that especially in the last five years or so,
the energies on the planet have been so screwed up that much has been out of
sync, and despite sincere efforts to live consciously, things have been really
screwed up, and, at least in my experience, often there is no
"lesson" at the end. Not to say I haven't learned or become stronger
by my life experiences—of course I have—but things I have been forced to endure
(and this goes for many other people I know) have become redundant, and
actually prevented me from moving forward at my chosen speed. And looking back,
even long term, there are many things that have happened to me that I still am
unable to see any positive reason that they happened at all. I think we, as
humans, have been taught that we have to find a silver lining in each cloud.
But sometimes—more often than not—there isn't one. We need to quit making up
stories and admit that sometimes life is just a bitch.
2) Everything is in Divine and Perfect Order.
Although I believe that spiritual evolution
is inevitable just like the passing of the dinosaurs, the path that we use to
get there is strictly up to us. And the reason is free will. Free will supercedes every other force in the Universe. So. . .we can reach evolution by all of us suddenly desiring
Peace on Earth, Passion for Cleaning up the Mess we have Created on the Planet,
Equality and Respect for Every Living Being the Inhabits the Earth, and
Embracing New and Unlimited Potential for All. There are more but I need not
continue. To think that the majority of humanity will get on this bandwagon
before we destroy the only home we know in these bodies is like believing in
the Easter Bunny. We don't have time to mess around any more with gently
nurturing the unconscious masses. The rate at which we are destroying the
planet by our irresponsibility is astounding even those scientists who have
been studying the effects of our selfish ways for years. I have been predicting
for years a cataclysmic event that will right the balance. Even the best
efforts of Al Gore and his supporters are nothing but a pathetic band-aid at
this point. The Earth will step in to protect herself when she has no other
choice.
3) We are all One.
Of course we're not—don't be ridiculous. I
am me, you are you, and there are people on this planet—be honest—we all know
them and know of them—that are NOT from the Light and
never were. No amount of Love will ever penetrate their darkness.
What I do believe, however, is that we all
(all of us who ultimately choose to remain on the planet) need to live in
harmony and balance, and unity as we
retain our individuality.
The problem is, we all hear and read this
nonsense every day, and are afraid to question it because it is spiritually
incorrect to "judge" to believe in "right and wrong", to
believe that things do happen to us that have nothing whatsoever to do with the
energy we put out, but are instead the results of others' poor and
irresponsible choices. In that respect, we are not "all one" but
unfortunately we are energetically
interconnected. I, for one, am so truly weary of analyzing every little word
and thought to ensure that it is "spiritually correct." I have been
doing this shit for nearly 30 years. I am tired. I just want to live my life. To quit walking on eggshells. To let my
hair down. I want to be me and feel what I feel and have my dreams and live in peace
without the irresponsible behavior of others constantly affecting my life. I am
sick of scrutinizing, agonizing over every little detail and choice I make, to
ensure that it doesn't create any negative karma. I am sick of karma. Even if
you keep your own karmic house in order, you have to deal with others' shitty
karma. I am just sick of it all. I have been trapped inside this sardine tin
long enough. Let me out.
And I believe that IS coming. Whatever
cataclysmic event happens WILL put an end to duality—this dimension split we
have awaited will permanently separate the darkness from the Light—the ultimate
goal of our long and gruesome ascent. And there is evidence that this is
happening now. I have found, just in the last few months, that it is easier and
easier to feel good around bad people. It tends to bounce around, and there are
still times that I feel like I am treading water and someone grabs my leg and
pulls me under, but there are other times that I have been able to be oblivious
to the barbaric behavior of those around me.
At
least that's what I believe. Take it or leave it. . . .
As we begin the new year,
I am reminded of how much I still believe the words of the late great John
Lennon, written over three decades ago:
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard
to do
Nothing to
kill or die for
And no
religion too
Here are some other
things to Imagine:
Imagine
there's no Prozac. Then people would actually have to face their issues
rather than drug them away. We have been brainwashed into believing that the
object of the game is to feel good, no matter what the long-term cost. And the
overall long-term cost has been extremely high. The object of the game is not
to feel good, in fact, but to become whole, and for most, that process does not
feel good.
In fact, imagine there is
no commercial health care system and no pharmaceuticals at all. Then maybe
people would begin to take responsibility for their own health. I personally,
am sick of my tax dollars going to support people with lung disease who have
smoked three packs a day for 30 years, or people who have heart disease because
they eat their daily meals at MacDonald's. I
personally will not support any candidate for president who would require
mandatory health insurance. Gordon Brown has the right idea: http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1200191/gordon_brown_outlines_nhs_reforms/index.html
Imagine there's no politics.
In fact, I may not be supporting any candidate this election. For the first
time since I became old enough to vote, I am seriously considering not voting. I don't like any of the lot.
Obama? Don’t think so. Did you notice that he wasn't
much of a contender until Oprah threw her support in for him.
Gives you an idea of how the American public mind works. Hillary? I think she
is probably the only one who is actually capable of at least beginning the
clean-up job that our country needs, but the problem is, is that she is as
passionately hated as Bush, just by a different segment of the population. And
I really don't want to live through another four years of venom. I think if she
was elected, the press and Bush supporters would put her through hell. And as
far as "voting for change", well, that's a big joke, now, isn't it? I
mean, does anyone remember all the energy that went into the midterm elections?
And how much change has that brought? The last time I counted, it was still
zero. Bush has not been impeached. We are still in
Of course, the worst thing the Democrats
could do is what they did four years ago by choosing the weakest candidate who
didn't have a chance to defeat Bush. I know too many people, including myself,
that cast a vote against Bush, rather
than actually for Kerry. There wasn't
much passionate support in that election.
And
whoever does get elected will be faced with the most daunting task of gathering
the world's most skilled exorcists and Shamans to purge and cleanse the White
House and make it inhabitable again. With eight years of George and Dick, can
you just imagine the volume of evil goo that must be embedded in every crack
and crevice? Eeewww. Yuck.
But ultimately, I am wondering if there is
even going to be a 2008 election. There is gonna be a whole lot of collapsing
going on, and I think our governing system is one of the first things that
needs to go. There seems to be little left of the original ideals. Now it seems
to be a matter of who is best at playing the game, kissing the right asses, and
raising the most money. The amount of money that is required just to campaign
for president is a travesty. People are losing their homes, don't have jobs,
are going hungry, and these bozos are getting zillions of dollars in donations.
Remember what I was saying about justice? If you have that much money that you
can afford to waste on these candidates, how about giving it to someone who
needs it just to survive, rather than
to people who already are as rich as you.
Imagine there's no waste.
See above sentence. Every time I see people standing in line at places like
Sheetz, with their arms full of snacks and other junk food, I am constantly
amazed at how much money people waste, especially in an area as economically
depressed as
The amount of product waste we produce on
this planet is beyond sinful. People buy stuff that they never use, then throw it away. And food waste is beyond my
comprehension. I grew up being taught that you DO NOT waste food, and I DON'T.
The most recent sickening example of food waste I have experienced took place
on the last day of the Akron Farmers' Market. They had a "melon toss" where people
bought a chance to toss a melon out onto the parking lot and try to hit something.
I guess. I was too outraged to pay much attention to what they were actually
doing. Their justification was that the proceeds were to go to the food bank,
and the melons were rotten anyways. My protests to market management were met
with ridicule and in one case, hostility.
Does anyone else but me see more than a hint
of insanity here?? First of all, for God's sake, farmers, if
you have that many melons that you can't sell, TAKE THEM TO THE FOOD BANK
BEFORE THEY ROT. Geez, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that
one out. To allow perfectly good food to rot, then trash it on a parking lot to
make money to go out and buy packaged food to give to charity??? I'm sorry, I just can't wrap my mind around that one.
I was always taught that you treated food
with respect, especially food from the earth. We composted everything long
before it was the trend. What we couldn't use, we returned to the earth, where
it would become next years' energy, and also provide food for the birds and
other little varmints who needed to survive a long, cold winter. It has always
been my hope and vision to use this farm as a means to educate the unconscious
public on ways to live in harmony and mutual respect for the planet. I also had
hoped to see local Farmers' Markets take up the task of doing the same, but
sadly, that has not been the case. I suppose there are a couple local ones that
do. I have not participated in Haymaker Market in
I was not the only person who was appalled
about the melon toss, though I was the most vocal. The vendor next to me felt
the same and would not give his son money to participate. He told me of a camp
his son attended, where all the uneaten food was collected into a container so
the children could see just how much food is wasted. The worst part is, few seem to care, as long as their bellies are full. I
have tried to get local restaurants to save me food scraps to compost but the
response has been negative, in one case the owner citing some health
regulation. Or maybe they are just too lazy to bother.
. .But rest assured, we will see the
folly of our ways, and for some it will be a painful awakening.
Imagine there's no trash.
I am not talking about the trash that goes in the landfills,
I am talking about the standard of life we have created. Topping my list of
trash are celebrities—not all but—well, we know who I mean. If I hear the term
"celebrity meltdown" one more time, I am going to scream. Whether
it is about Britney Spears or Paula Abdul or anyone else, I am sick of these
overblown snobs and their juvenile temper tantrums. These people seriously need
to get out of themselves and see how the rest of the world lives. We have
everyday heroes who spend their lives caring for abused and abandoned animals,
or parents with Alzheimer's Disease, or children with
mental or physical challenges who often are struggling just to make ends meet,
and who rarely receive a word of praise, yet go on with their days because they
can't imagine doing otherwise. However, my hope is that the world's priorities
will change in 2008. See paragraph on Justice.
Here are some other examples of trash: What
you see every time you walk into stores like Dollar Tree. Aisles
and aisles of little plastic junk—doodads and trinkets that serve no purpose
whatsoever, and are broken and discarded a week after purchase. And what
you encounter every time you get on the internet. Useless
websites that clog up the system, making it more difficult to find the ones
that are really worthwhile.
There is just too much, too much, too much
of everything. We are being bombarded constantly with junk, junk, junk, and the
ones who have the most money are the ones who can afford to keep their junk in
the spotlight, and actually convince the sleeping flocks that what they have is
worthwhile. We have become a global society of excess (yet, strangely, not
"abundance"). Quantity has become more important that quality, and that is a sure sign of the downfall of an era.
Even life has become quantity rather than quality. There are
way, WAY too many people on this planet, and yet people keep reproducing
irresponsibly, even though they have no means whatsoever to care for what they
produce. Then they cry for welfare. Enough. There
needs to be a Universal Law that requires parents to have to means to give each
child a quality life before they are allowed to be born. Children are not
things, mistakes, accidents, or assurance that parents will have someone to
take care of them when they get old.
And here is some real trash:
People who shoplift. I personally am sick of feeling like a
character in a George Orwell novel every time I walk into a store filled with
surveillance cameras. I have never stolen anything or broken the law. These
creeps have made it bad for all of us.
People who walk out of restaurants without paying. If you
are really that hungry and hard up, go to a soup kitchen. There are people there
that care and can help. Otherwise stay home and learn to fucking cook.
People who are constantly protruding into our lives uninvited.
The telemarketers. Spammers. Junk mail senders. Because of these jerks, we have to keep
setting up stronger and stronger filters to the point where we are missing
important information that we DO want to receive.
People who have absolutely no conscience and no sense of morals or
ethics. The people who prey on children and the
elderly, who steal our identity and send viruses to our computers just 'cause
they figured out how. The people who blow through other peoples' lives
like a tornado, causing destruction everywhere they go, and never bother to
look behind them to see what they have done. (2008 may not be a good year for
them. See paragraph on justice.)
Imagine
there's no red tape. No bullshit. No laundry list of rules, regulations,
and policies we have to follow just to do simple tasks. This one is self
explanatory, and one that has gotten way out of control, in need of a
monumental correction.
Imagine there's no "Reality TV". Good God, enough, already. . .
As I end my little rampage here, I return
to the paragraph I wrote earlier in the article, because it has become that
voice that screams to me louder and louder by the minute. I am SICK of doing
everything right and having everything turn out so wrong. The last ten years
have been a karmic rampage, and every decision has become a life and death
issue, dredging up shit from the past—sometime real distant past, to be wiped
away for good. Decisions I made in innocence became nightmares, most
particularly certain people that crossed my life and turned it into a living
hell, a mess I have been trying to dig myself out of for the last five years.
And the sad part is, I did nothing wrong. I have always lived in honesty and
integrity, and in my naivety, allowed these miserable people to turn my life
upside down, simply because I could never have fathomed that someone would be
capable of doing so much damage to someone else's life.
But as I said, this is the year for justice,
and these people will finally get hit up the ass with their own boomerangs. I
am not a vengeful person, but the phrase "what goes around comes
around" sounds sweeter every day.
Meanwhile, I want to return to the life I
always lived. I was never afraid to make mistakes. Mistakes were the fastest
way to get where I wanted to go. I tried this, it didn't work, so I tried that,
then that, and finally found something that worked, then
I went to the next step, and so on. Life was exciting, always fresh. Mistakes
were never a curse, never something that made me feel my life was ruined if I
made a wrong choice. I simply made another choice. Like
walking through a maze. Life was like playing a game. It was fun. I want to be able to laugh, say
"whoops", then start again. It has been such
a long, long time.
When these two horrible people came into my
life, the trauma they created for me has had such devastating effects that even
now, five years later, I still feel paralyzed and unable to trust anything or
anyone, human or divine. I think it has taken me all this time to realize just
how much the whole event has affected me. So much of my life for the past five
years has been spent struggling just to live at the most basic levels of
survival. And I have never been a survival person. I have always been a
"reach for the stars" person.
There are people who make excuses for others'
deplorable behavior by saying that we all agreed to roles before we incarnated,
and some agreed to play the villain in order to help others' evolve. I think
that is some of the worst New Age bullshit. Since each incarnation is meant to
move us further into the light, I really don’t believe that anyone would
willingly volunteer to play the villain. Free will always prevails. We always
have the choice to play the villain or the peacemaker. I don't, and never have
believed any of us ever needed villains in our lives to enable us to evolve. Children
who grow up surrounded by love usually become loving people. If you ask me, I
think the Grand Plan always was to incarnate into a physical world that
nurtured us with love, so we could evolve very quickly. The villains were never
part of the plan. They have been the obstruction. I once again refer you to
Lynn Grabhorn's book Dear God! What's Happening to Us?
There is one phrase that keeps popping up,
and sends a ray of light through the darkness that has clouded me for over half
a decade. It is that term "zero point", or "still point".
Years ago, while I was first tying to work
through all this trauma, I bought the book Coloring Mandalas by Susanne F. Fincher.
If you can still find it, I highly recommend it. It was great therapy for me.
The book is arranged so there are several
mandalas for each of the twelve stages we go and grow through, at the micro and
macro levels, and everything in between, at least that's how I interpret it.
Stage One begins in the womb, the void from which all possibilities emerge,
then moves onward through our childhood development, maturity, then old age,
when life begins to break down, and ends with Stage Twelve, Transcendent
Ecstasy, which could be interpreted as death. The book supplies fairly
textbook-like definitions, but I think the possibilities to perceive these
stages are quite endless. I think that we go through each of these stages on a
daily and yearly basis, as well as the great circle that we complete in each
lifetime. However, I think there is also a vast, huge macro-cycle that many of
us are now completing as well as the planet herself, that
has taken place over millions of years. I think certain of us have carefully
planned our growth so that it coincides, as accurately as possible, with the
cosmic events that are before us. It is no coincidence that we are probably, in
most cases, the Starseeds, Lightworkers, and others in the forefront,
pioneering the Universe into the New Age.
There is one other stage that the book
covered with only one mandala, and that is the one that intrigues me the most.
It is called Stage Zero, or Clear Light. It is before conception, before the
void, a stage of nothing and no thing, yet all things, pure consciousness.
I have
felt this sense of returning to that zero point for quite some time, like a
huge cosmic Grandfather Clock that is nearly wound down. The swinging pendulum
has been slowing noticeably for the last two years, but for the last few
months, I have had the sensation that time itself is coming to a stop, this
limbo where there is no energy to move anything in any direction, yet a place
of great peace and rest. At first it was very uncomfortable, because I watched
the world whiz by me while I felt like someone had pressed the pause button on
my life. But I am now feeling this is that dimension split I have been longing
for. I think many people have felt that
We shall see, I guess. All I know is that for
me, I feel very little need or desire to do or even think anything metaphysical
at this point. I also feel that the bandages wrapped around age-old wounds are
finally beginning to unravel and blow away in the wind, and that much of what I
(and others like me) have suffered will at long last be released and forgotten,
and never have to be revisited again.
I have spent so many years sowing, and now I
just want to sit back and watch the seeds grow. Whatever does happen, I think
2008 will be a year of extraordinary events.
Copyright 2008© by
Laughing Crow
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